Threading Between The Friend And Love Zone

Once again, I have disappeared again from you all and now decided to reappear with some stories to share.

I realised every single time I am writing here, it is to complain about some and it will not be any different this time around. I guess this has become a space for me to relieve myself from my misery.

As I write this, I can't help but think, "Is this what my life is going to be like? Will I be one of those old farts living alone and have a dozen of cats lying around my house? Will I be knitting some weird ass sweater for no apparent reason?"

Anyhow, let's go back to the story of the day! This is pretty much what the title says: Me threading on a fine line between being friends and love zone with this guy I met a few weeks ago.



It's a pretty dangerous zone and I'm sure more than one of you out there have had experiences like this.

Here's the lowdown on what has happened so far.

'Twas a fine day during lunch hour at work. I was out with my work hags for a round of coffee and sandwiches at Starbucks (Coffee snobs, don't judge. That's the only thing available. Either that or Gloria Jeans. Take your pick.)

So one of my loyal hags spotted a cute guy and literally shouted it out (Ah, I've train them well with their hot men radars). So I turned and look – cute!

He looks Eurasian, but just a hint of it. Rather exotic and I like it. He is on the lean side with a good height (maybe 3 inch taller than me?). Though he has a boyish look, I found him rather intriguing, to say the very least.

And he look familiar. I pointed that out to my hags and they rolled their eyes. Pretty much because when I saw a guy looks familiar, it means either I've slept with him before and forgot or I've seen them on the prowl on Grindr or the local gay clubs.

I was spot on. Switched on Grindr and there he was. So long story short, we texted for a while and agreed to meet. That's where things take a turn.

Let me ask you this, have you had that immediate feeling where you meet a guy for the first time and you immediately know that it is not going to work. It was like an immediate friend zone.

That was what I had. Why? Well, mainly because when we met, we just couldn't stop talking. That's the thing about me, when I like a guy, the first meet up is always rather quiet and mellow.

I usually just too mesmerised by the guy and my vocabulary becomes the standard of a two year old, which revolves around smiling and nodding with occasional sounds made.

Thing is, when I was with him, we could talk a lot and we click. There was minimal flirting and we're like old friends.

Fast forward till now, we are on good terms. There was occasional flirting and hints of him wanting to get it on but nothing was ever concrete. Plus, I liked him as a friend. Though I can say I don't mind sleeping with him if he offers.

I found him very interesting and I am completely enamoured but I know nothing good will come out of it, if I pursue the romance route.

So I guess it's best to stay as friends. My best hag said, "You do know that you always sleep with the guys you like and try to be friends with, right?"

Agreed but I rather not. He is a nice guy and I enjoy the company. Better have a good friend than a good lay, right?

So just now, he just text me and said he got attached to a guy he met a couple of times. I was both happy and sad at the same time.

Sad because I wanted it to be me but happy because now I can firm myself up and just take him as a friend. Secretly though, I know that he wouldn't last with this new guy.

Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but by the time they actually break up, I am well and secure in the friend zone and no complains to that.

Then I'll probably make fun of him like best fag friends do.

What's your take on this? Am I right? Does anything I said make sense at all?


Love you fags and hags out there. Have a good weekend.
Yours Queerly xoxo

PS: I am back home visiting family and prowling on Grindr. Maybe I'll get lucky and get laid for once. It's been two weeks!

Grindrology Lesson 1: Guys you meet in Grindr

Grindr. A mobile app that we, the gays, can’t seem to live without. What is the appeal to Grindr? Being the new generation of gays who love these apps, I always wonder what did gay men do before Grindr happened or even before the days of online dating sites like Fridae and Match.com.

I’ll be honest. As the newer generation, Grindr is a place for me to meet like-minded gays for dates, and sex. 
Though I do find that in Malaysia, Jack’d seems to be the preferred app, which I do like since it is more detailed and there are options for those of you who wants to remain secretive to have private photos.

Photo from Instagram @grindr

It used to be all about sex. That was when I first came out and found the joys of Grindr. Sex was the priority. I blame the raging hormones of a young gay men in a foreign country.

Now, it’s more about just meeting for dates and to see if I can hunt my husband-to-be amongst the myriad of photoshopped abs and landscape photos.

Gone were the days of meeting someone in person and making contact. Well, I don’t think it’ll work for us since there is always a risk of them not being gay and you’ll get a punch on the face, despite how much we pride ourselves of our GAYDAR.

Browsing through Grindr lately, I noticed a few things. Let’s go through some:

·      No Chinese, No Indians, No Malays etc – Yes. We all have our preferences. But why do you state the rejection in your profile. Isn’t saying that you “prefer Caucasians” or  “prefer dating Chinese” sounds better and saying no on specific races. ME: I’d skip that detail and let things go with the flow. If we don’t click or I am not interested. I’d tell you straight off.

·      Looking for friends only but I’m a top/bottom/versatile – This often confuses me. For those profiles stating that they are looking for friends only and they’re attached. Why do they always state their sexual role. If you’re looking for just friends, I don’t need to know if you’re a bottom. It’s not like if you’re a bottom, you would only reply to the tops. Isn’t that hint on you wanting sex but trying to play nice?

·      Wouldn’t reply if you just say hi r say more than hi – That is often a confusing rule. When you first meet someone, don’t you start with a hi or how are you? What else do you want me to say?  So does “Hi There” constitute as more than a hi? And personally sometimes when someone writes his whole lifetime summary in one message would freak me.

·      Not looking for – What is the damn point of you telling others what you are not looking for. Not that it helps you in any way. Isn’t it better to say what you are into and what you are looking for? That saves us a lot of time. At least when I see you say you’d prefer older men or something, I won’t message you if I am close to your age.

·      Money boys – For some reason, Grindr and similar apps had become a money making tool. You can see heaps of model like men advertising their services. I thought the idea of Grindr was to find dates and have some random sex. Since when do we need to pay for it? And I find these profiles appear more in Malaysia, compared to my times in Melbourne.

·    No option for sex  - That's the biggest problem in Grindr and plenty of us have hightlighted this problem. In their "Seeking" option, where in the hell is the SEX option? Isn't it easier if that is there/ That way you can cut out the useless options since friends, chats and networking is the same thing. Just have these options - friends, dates, relationship and sex. Agreed?

And voila, my random thoughts on Grindr. What’s your take on what you constitute as good Grindr-ing?

Are you gays on Grindr or Jack’d constantly? What other apps is good in Malaysia? Maybe you’ll bump into me sometime in the app.

Love you fags and hags out there. Have a jolly holiday!
Yours Queerly xoxo

One-sided phone sex with a celebrity on Grindr

So I had recently talked about the art of texting and calling, and a few nights after, I actually had a phone sex session.

This was with a certain celebrity/model who visited from Taiwan - think 6 feet over, toned and with scruffy facial hair - totally hot!

He was a gentleman and we had been texting each other for a while on Grindr. It was all innocent talk at first. The sweetest ever. 

Something about western educated Asian men that makes them such sweethearts who actually cares about you and have proper conversations. Yours Queerly had a little crush on him now and so I started stalking his social media accounts and watched his Youtube videos.
When I messaged him initially on Grindr, I had no idea he was someone famous.  The profile photo taken a few years back before he toned up - he was on the skinny side in the photo.

After texting for awhile, the Model (that's his nickname) told me that he has "been in modeling here and there" around Canada and US but he is based in Taiwan now.

For a while, I thought he was one of those struggling models around L.A but on the week after, I shared his photo with my colleague, and she told me who he actually is.

Now, at first I thought he was a catfish - using some fake photo and profile but I had called him beforehand and when I match the voice with the videos I found of his interview on Youtube, it matches almost 90%.

Well, despite the suspicion, I decided to believe that he is indeed said celebrity. After all, even though it might be fake, it turns out to be a good fantasy for this queer here.

So one night when I was bored, I called him for a chat (mainly because he has such a sexy accent), and like usual, it was normal talk until he mentioned he is kind of horny lying in bed naked.

 Soon after, I hear a little moaning and with little teasing, he was breathing heavily and started muttering words like damn and fuck.

I, myself, am not a phone sex kind of guy but I went ahead and dirty talk with him as he wanked off like he's going to war. While he is going to Happy Happy land, I was just there fully clothed and not actually doing much.

He, on the other hand, was in full blown horny mood and after 20 minutes of sex talk involving how I should blow him and what he wants to do to me, he blew his wad. Towards the end,  I find phone sex not as awkward as it could be. It was interesting and I did get stirred up a little but not to a point of wanking.

So after the hot session, he said good night and according to him, "is leaving his cum on his body and only cleaning up tomorrow as he was tired".

So there we have it. My first phone sex experience.

And happy to say, after that call, I have plenty of imagination material in my head and let's just say it was a good night sleep for Yours Queerly.

Oh and he sent me a photo of post wanking of his body, which I am not sharing. He is my fantasy and not for you.

Love you fags and hags out there.
Yours Queerly xoxo

The Art of Texting VS Talking

There's something quite interesting that I realised recently and I have to ask every gay men out there.

Hell, I want to ask even the straights: Why is that when we text someone, we can flirt like there's no tomorrow but when we call, we are so god damn polite to the other person - well, most of the time.

Take Grindr for example, after the routine "how are yous?" and "where are you from", things always turns to the perverted side. Things turn from normal texting into sexting. Every thing you said is a sexual innuendo. From asking are you hard at work, which normally means "is work tough today?" or "are you working yourself to the ground: but turns into "are you literally hard at work".

Things always become hard when we sext. Sexting is the new phone sex.

So I had this guy that I was talking to. He has the rightest kind of body with a perfect face. Like those of models but not like plastic Barbie's Ken doll. The first few sessions of texting was perfectly normal. Asking all sort of normal stuff from work to food and travel. Slowly it turns into sexting.

When asked at night, "what are you doing", it is always get back the same answer. An answer along the lines of "I am lying in bed naked and chatting with you on Grindr. PS: I am fucking horny too."
That makes all the sexting and teasing start. All about massages, "coming" over to my place or how nice the sheets feel on your skin as you talk to me and how eating a meal becomes swallowing.

That's all fun and games. Don't get me wrong. I love sexting. Heck I sext all cute guys. I even intentionally make sexual innuendos.

Then comes the time of the phone call. That one night when you are sexting for a while and he ask to call or you did. You engage on the call but when it goes through, everything becomes all nice and pleasant. Conversation goes back to the basics like food, travel or what you have been doing.

Why is it that when we already past all the pleasantries before in texting, we revert back to ground zero when the call comes.

I admit I am like that too. Maybe it's because there is no emotion sensed when texting. You can say whatever you want and everything will sound sexy but when you call and say it aloud, everything seems so fucking stupid or less sexy than you thought it would be.

Phone sex has become almost non-existent!

To be honest I love calling and talking to a guy more than texting but not everyone prefers the call, now that Grindr is the app of the century for the gays out there. Hence sexting is my calling now.

So what do you do? Do you have the same problem or are you the perfect slut that can call without reverting back to pleasantries? (And slut is a compliment here)

So what do you think? Maybe some of you out there has the answer to this fucking weird question.


Love you fags and hags out there. Have a jolly holiday!
Yours Queerly xoxo