Grindrology Lesson 1: Guys you meet in Grindr

Grindr. A mobile app that we, the gays, can’t seem to live without. What is the appeal to Grindr? Being the new generation of gays who love these apps, I always wonder what did gay men do before Grindr happened or even before the days of online dating sites like Fridae and Match.com.

I’ll be honest. As the newer generation, Grindr is a place for me to meet like-minded gays for dates, and sex. 
Though I do find that in Malaysia, Jack’d seems to be the preferred app, which I do like since it is more detailed and there are options for those of you who wants to remain secretive to have private photos.

Photo from Instagram @grindr

It used to be all about sex. That was when I first came out and found the joys of Grindr. Sex was the priority. I blame the raging hormones of a young gay men in a foreign country.

Now, it’s more about just meeting for dates and to see if I can hunt my husband-to-be amongst the myriad of photoshopped abs and landscape photos.

Gone were the days of meeting someone in person and making contact. Well, I don’t think it’ll work for us since there is always a risk of them not being gay and you’ll get a punch on the face, despite how much we pride ourselves of our GAYDAR.

Browsing through Grindr lately, I noticed a few things. Let’s go through some:

·      No Chinese, No Indians, No Malays etc – Yes. We all have our preferences. But why do you state the rejection in your profile. Isn’t saying that you “prefer Caucasians” or  “prefer dating Chinese” sounds better and saying no on specific races. ME: I’d skip that detail and let things go with the flow. If we don’t click or I am not interested. I’d tell you straight off.

·      Looking for friends only but I’m a top/bottom/versatile – This often confuses me. For those profiles stating that they are looking for friends only and they’re attached. Why do they always state their sexual role. If you’re looking for just friends, I don’t need to know if you’re a bottom. It’s not like if you’re a bottom, you would only reply to the tops. Isn’t that hint on you wanting sex but trying to play nice?

·      Wouldn’t reply if you just say hi r say more than hi – That is often a confusing rule. When you first meet someone, don’t you start with a hi or how are you? What else do you want me to say?  So does “Hi There” constitute as more than a hi? And personally sometimes when someone writes his whole lifetime summary in one message would freak me.

·      Not looking for – What is the damn point of you telling others what you are not looking for. Not that it helps you in any way. Isn’t it better to say what you are into and what you are looking for? That saves us a lot of time. At least when I see you say you’d prefer older men or something, I won’t message you if I am close to your age.

·      Money boys – For some reason, Grindr and similar apps had become a money making tool. You can see heaps of model like men advertising their services. I thought the idea of Grindr was to find dates and have some random sex. Since when do we need to pay for it? And I find these profiles appear more in Malaysia, compared to my times in Melbourne.

·    No option for sex  - That's the biggest problem in Grindr and plenty of us have hightlighted this problem. In their "Seeking" option, where in the hell is the SEX option? Isn't it easier if that is there/ That way you can cut out the useless options since friends, chats and networking is the same thing. Just have these options - friends, dates, relationship and sex. Agreed?

And voila, my random thoughts on Grindr. What’s your take on what you constitute as good Grindr-ing?

Are you gays on Grindr or Jack’d constantly? What other apps is good in Malaysia? Maybe you’ll bump into me sometime in the app.

Love you fags and hags out there. Have a jolly holiday!
Yours Queerly xoxo