Mid 20s gay conundrums: Being taken seriously

 (Photo by Coming Out on Top)

As a mid 20s gay man who prefers to date older, more matured men, there comes many a times (in Malaysia), where I find an interesting guy that I fancy but left hanging because they think you're too young for them?

Before I go deeper into this conundrum of mine, let me define my preferred type of older gentlemen.

• Someone who is about the age of 30. Usually between 28 to 36 years old.
• Matured with a stable job and well cultured.
• Someone who can carry a conversation with you without being too vain (we're gay, there's always a vain moment, but not all the time)
• Someone who respects space and boundaries when it comes to a relationship

So I'm about 26 this year and most of the times, I find younger men unattractive when it comes to having a proper relationship.

Yes, they might be good looking with rocking abs. That's good and all but they are nothing but eye candies.

In my terms, they are "nice to see, nice to hold (literally) but once deeper into it, it gets boring and off-putting because they are either too clingy or can't think of anything but getting you home for a fuck.

So I tend to initiate conversations with older gentlemen who I feel more in sync with. That's when the problems kick in, while we are great in conversations and all, it always comes down to a single thing – I'm too young for them.

In their eyes, I am this young kid who is barely old enough. Whenever I say I like to have a steady relationship, they will laugh it off like I am joking. I am constantly friend-zoned.

The thing is I do want to settle down. I am tired of the partying and lapping up hot young things for non-committed relations.

The older men often take me as this understudy that they felt compelled to mentor. They take me as the little brother (actually sister) who just got inducted to the homo-hood and needs to be guided.

But I am not. While I can't say I am very matured but I think I have bypassed the twenties zone, where parties, sex and late nights are priority.

(Photo by Coming Out on Top)

I am perfectly content with my cup of coffee, a good read and a nice date night out. Then possibly followed by hot sex with my partner.

In Malaysia, it just seems impossible. They are two types of guys I attract.

1. Young boys in their early 20s (possibly 18 and 19 too) who wants sex, sex and more sex. The ones who don't bother getting to know you and after two minutes of conversation, they either want sex or they say they love me and wants to be in a relationship.
2. The other group is the men over 50s (most of the time, even 60s) who wants a young boy toy to satisfy their closeted desires.

While I am never one to judge, these two types of men are just not in my attraction scope.

Then when I finally men that are exactly how I like them, they often friend-zoned me or make me part of their sisterhood entourage.


So comes my question to all of you out there reading this, how can I escape this conundrum?

Maybe I am still immature for having this rant about it? I don't know. Any thoughts?



Love you fags and hags out there. Have a good weekend.
Yours Queerly xoxo

One-sided phone sex with a celebrity on Grindr

So I had recently talked about the art of texting and calling, and a few nights after, I actually had a phone sex session.

This was with a certain celebrity/model who visited from Taiwan - think 6 feet over, toned and with scruffy facial hair - totally hot!

He was a gentleman and we had been texting each other for a while on Grindr. It was all innocent talk at first. The sweetest ever. 

Something about western educated Asian men that makes them such sweethearts who actually cares about you and have proper conversations. Yours Queerly had a little crush on him now and so I started stalking his social media accounts and watched his Youtube videos.
When I messaged him initially on Grindr, I had no idea he was someone famous.  The profile photo taken a few years back before he toned up - he was on the skinny side in the photo.

After texting for awhile, the Model (that's his nickname) told me that he has "been in modeling here and there" around Canada and US but he is based in Taiwan now.

For a while, I thought he was one of those struggling models around L.A but on the week after, I shared his photo with my colleague, and she told me who he actually is.

Now, at first I thought he was a catfish - using some fake photo and profile but I had called him beforehand and when I match the voice with the videos I found of his interview on Youtube, it matches almost 90%.

Well, despite the suspicion, I decided to believe that he is indeed said celebrity. After all, even though it might be fake, it turns out to be a good fantasy for this queer here.

So one night when I was bored, I called him for a chat (mainly because he has such a sexy accent), and like usual, it was normal talk until he mentioned he is kind of horny lying in bed naked.

 Soon after, I hear a little moaning and with little teasing, he was breathing heavily and started muttering words like damn and fuck.

I, myself, am not a phone sex kind of guy but I went ahead and dirty talk with him as he wanked off like he's going to war. While he is going to Happy Happy land, I was just there fully clothed and not actually doing much.

He, on the other hand, was in full blown horny mood and after 20 minutes of sex talk involving how I should blow him and what he wants to do to me, he blew his wad. Towards the end,  I find phone sex not as awkward as it could be. It was interesting and I did get stirred up a little but not to a point of wanking.

So after the hot session, he said good night and according to him, "is leaving his cum on his body and only cleaning up tomorrow as he was tired".

So there we have it. My first phone sex experience.

And happy to say, after that call, I have plenty of imagination material in my head and let's just say it was a good night sleep for Yours Queerly.

Oh and he sent me a photo of post wanking of his body, which I am not sharing. He is my fantasy and not for you.

Love you fags and hags out there.
Yours Queerly xoxo