Mid 20s gay conundrums: Being taken seriously

 (Photo by Coming Out on Top)

As a mid 20s gay man who prefers to date older, more matured men, there comes many a times (in Malaysia), where I find an interesting guy that I fancy but left hanging because they think you're too young for them?

Before I go deeper into this conundrum of mine, let me define my preferred type of older gentlemen.

• Someone who is about the age of 30. Usually between 28 to 36 years old.
• Matured with a stable job and well cultured.
• Someone who can carry a conversation with you without being too vain (we're gay, there's always a vain moment, but not all the time)
• Someone who respects space and boundaries when it comes to a relationship

So I'm about 26 this year and most of the times, I find younger men unattractive when it comes to having a proper relationship.

Yes, they might be good looking with rocking abs. That's good and all but they are nothing but eye candies.

In my terms, they are "nice to see, nice to hold (literally) but once deeper into it, it gets boring and off-putting because they are either too clingy or can't think of anything but getting you home for a fuck.

So I tend to initiate conversations with older gentlemen who I feel more in sync with. That's when the problems kick in, while we are great in conversations and all, it always comes down to a single thing – I'm too young for them.

In their eyes, I am this young kid who is barely old enough. Whenever I say I like to have a steady relationship, they will laugh it off like I am joking. I am constantly friend-zoned.

The thing is I do want to settle down. I am tired of the partying and lapping up hot young things for non-committed relations.

The older men often take me as this understudy that they felt compelled to mentor. They take me as the little brother (actually sister) who just got inducted to the homo-hood and needs to be guided.

But I am not. While I can't say I am very matured but I think I have bypassed the twenties zone, where parties, sex and late nights are priority.

(Photo by Coming Out on Top)

I am perfectly content with my cup of coffee, a good read and a nice date night out. Then possibly followed by hot sex with my partner.

In Malaysia, it just seems impossible. They are two types of guys I attract.

1. Young boys in their early 20s (possibly 18 and 19 too) who wants sex, sex and more sex. The ones who don't bother getting to know you and after two minutes of conversation, they either want sex or they say they love me and wants to be in a relationship.
2. The other group is the men over 50s (most of the time, even 60s) who wants a young boy toy to satisfy their closeted desires.

While I am never one to judge, these two types of men are just not in my attraction scope.

Then when I finally men that are exactly how I like them, they often friend-zoned me or make me part of their sisterhood entourage.


So comes my question to all of you out there reading this, how can I escape this conundrum?

Maybe I am still immature for having this rant about it? I don't know. Any thoughts?



Love you fags and hags out there. Have a good weekend.
Yours Queerly xoxo

People Like Us - Gay blogs you need to follow

Happy Monday, my loves! Though I am sure, like me, you would rather do anything or anyone else to care about work. Hence, I am writing on my blog instead of the ten stories that I have to finish up by Wednesday. I know, FML.

On a depressing Monday like this, what better things to do than to go through your blog feeds and look for new posts by your favorite bloggers?

Here is a few of my favorite gay reads:

1. The Single Life of a Manhattan Homo - To me, this is the father of all gay blogs: a successful gay writer, Mark Brennan Rosenberg, with his most interesting and exciting life and in my city of dreams nonetheless, NEW YORK!
2. Bedtime Stories - Adventures of a gay doctor. A fantastic writer and one of the few like Mark (Manhattan Homo) who writes stories in their blogs, rather than random posts with a million grammatical errors and nonsensical sentence structures.
3. Fable Frog - I find it quite the interesting read. Even though I have only read the most recent post on his dream of gang raping - oh how dirty and fabulous!
4. Ranting of the Boy (Park in Reverse) - Again, I have only screened through a few post but I am loving this gaysian in Melbourne (my former home), like the latest post on gay relationships!
5. Strictly Gay - This blog is the gay lifestyle and culture blog to follow. Who better to go for when you need reviews on food, culture and lifestyle, than to go to a gay. From facial care, gadgets, food to film, you have it all in a gay POI - which is what we, the Gays need in Malaysia. A gay lifestyle guide.

So there you have it. Some of my regular haunts now (the links are not put in any form ranking, I love them all). I have more in my arsenal but I have only bookmarked them for now and don't have time to read through them yet. I will post them up when the time comes.

A special mention to Manhattan Homo because I love him so much that I practically dive into the archives and read every single post available. It took me a few days to read but it was all worth it.

And now my stalking continues on to Bedtime Stories, I have read up till April 2005 and I have eight more years to go!

I am such a proud stalker, but I blame it on my obsessive nature in reading nurtured by my sister.

Oh! On the side note, don't you think Kelly Clarkson's new song, "People Like Us" is actually meant for people like us. The homos and co. The LGBTIs!

Anyway, enjoy the suggested reads and I will go back to Bedtime Stories for another hour before slaving myself at work.

Love you fags and hags out there. Have a good weekend.
Yours Queerly xoxo