Two-night Staycation 10km Away From Home

I'm actually quite bullshit in meeting my promises. Most of the time, it will turn out to be empty ones (maybe that's indication on why I can't get myself a man?)

So, here I am with a two night staycation in a colonial themed hotel just 10km away from home. While it is not that far away, it still feels like a holiday. God, how long has it been since I last got a holiday? (probably never?)

Anyway, at least now I am home away from home and found time to start writing on this space again. By the way Merry Christmas my fags and hags reading this! Anyone wants a hot Santa? I do!

Alone in a hotel with no bars held against me and I'm writing a blog post. How lifeless can I be? Truth be told, I am waiting to see if my date will turn up tonight. We arranged to meet today since two months back, but I couldn't help but shake the feeling that he would not show.

So I found this guy on Grindr (how romantic) about six months back, right before he flew back to Macau. No, he's not a Macanese. He just works there. He's a local Malaysian Chinese man in his late 30s who happen to be back in town for a holiday.

That's how I met him online and also why I am meeting him now (he's back for Christmas).

So this guy (Let's call him Niko? Don't ask why) met up for a quick chat at my place yesterday. It was an impromptu thing since he lived near my place. Not what you are imagining (yes, I know you perverted minds). Nothing happened yet. Well, there was the quick make out session and groping but nothing went further because he had to leave to meet his family.

Anyway, this morning I got a text from him saying that he is 'sick'. First alarm rang. Normally someone who suddenly text you in the morning and says he is 'sick' on the day you are supposed to meet, that means he is probably trying to find an excuse to cancel.

Trust me: it's the oldest trick in the book. I personally used it a few times (karma?). Well, to be fair, the guys I bailed on were those who does not match how they look like or sound like via chat. Complete opposites that turned me off. If there's one thing I hate, it is those who fake a personality and how they look like to trap fools like me. Hah! Fat chance!

But I can say that I never lie about my own stats and looks. I never promise you a hot, six packed, chiseled face model looking man. I am just myself. No filter. No deception.

So here I am. Waiting to see if Niko will turn up or will he bail. Maybe he was really sick. Here's to wishful thinking that I am wrong and he is sick.

Anyhow, with an empty hotel room with a doorless bath. I was hoping to get a little down and dirty. Okay. Not a little, a lot!

So that's my weekend. How's everyone else? Doing great post Christmas? Anyone got a hot lay? Manage to hung any wreaths to your backdoor?

Were you a good reindeer and let Santa ride you all night long? (vice versa)

Do share with me as I am bored out of my mind now. (Listening to Korean music is just plain depressing)


Love you fags and hags out there. Have a jolly holiday!
Yours Queerly xoxo

Where Are My Gaybies?

Just the other day, I was talking to my fag hag #2, whom from now on will be called Roozilla. We were talking about my second cousins (my cousin’s kids). MY cousin has two kids now – a boy and a girl.

While the boy is a spoilt brat, the girl is plain adorable. I love that little pink bundle of joy so much!

Then came the topic of having our own. Oh, how I wish I would have my little gayby soon. 

Well before that, I’ll have to hunt down the father first. My first choice is, of course, MATT BOMER!

Dear Matt Bomer, can you be my baby's daddy?

I’ve always had the dream of starting my own family and have kids of my own. I am like the typical girl who thinks about how many kids I want and their ideal names.

If it is a boy, he shall be named Callum, Caleb, Lukas or Aleksandr. 

As for a girl, the princess shall be named Alessandra, Olivia, Cara or Anna (French and not English - pronounced as Ah-Na).

Yeah, I am crazy like that. Ideally, I want two boys and a girl. The eldest should be the boy followed by a middle sister and youngest boy. That way there would be competition with the boys and middle child syndrome can be avoided since she is the only girl in the family.

I want a family like his!

Then comes the question, “How am I getting my hands on the bundle of joy?”. As far as I know there are a few options:

• Surrogacy with a stranger - That is the most popular option to us now - many thanks to the shows like New Normal. (Oh how I wish my husband to be would be as hot as David played by Justin Bartha!)
  
  But the key here is finding a good EGG and a good surrogate for my baby. And who's seed shall we use? Mine or hubby-to-be's? Shall we mix in a cup and hope for the best or take turns. The first is mine and second will be his vice versa.
  
• Adoption - Another obvious choice thanks to celebrities like Madonna and Angelina Jolie. It is the common option since both of us can be pregnant. this way we can help some poor kid left behind by their parents. A great philanthropic effort but alas, one would always want their own flesh and blood.
  
• Find a lesbian friend - Similar to surrogacy but  we collaborate with the lesbian friend we know and get her pregnant. The hard part is will we be the parents or share custody with the lesbian? And worse, who's gonna be the one doing the lesbian? Me or hubby-to-be? Or we inject with a syringe?

This is the few options I can think of (for now). I think I'd prefer option 1 (Surrogacy with a stranger). This way, we can avoid the question of custody as everything is pretty much a transaction. It's like baking but the oven have no rights to the cupcake. We as the customers have the full right to it.

I know it sounds like we are buying a baby but that is the truth we have to face as gays.

So what's your take? Surrogacy, a lesbian or adopt a baby?  
And there is also financial to think about when doing surrogacy. Let's hope my future prince is a loaded one with mountains of lucrative shares and successful business. Think Wall Street men but a loving and caring partner.

While all is uncertain for now, I know one thing for sure. I would be the doting parent that would pamper the children. I will also be the stylish dad that can dress up their baby well but none of those dramatic ones like the ones your see in Modern Family. Though I am sure as hell the artsy and creative fun dad!

Hence, I need a more serious partner to be the bad guy and discipline them. 

So who wants to be my baby's daddy?

Love you fags and hags out there. Have a jolly holiday!
Yours Queerly xoxo

Mamma Knows Best: Things that proves your parents know you're gay

Had a very interesting conversation with my fag hag #1, Drunkzilla. (Drunkzilla and I met in college and we’ve been best of gays and hags ever since.)

I had just finished work and went down to Whisk (Empire Subang Jaya) to meet her for a much-needed catch up session (we haven’t met for five days!). While I was slaving myself with work and desperately looking for some on Grindr, Drunkzilla got plenty of roll in the hay than this gay.

Yeah, my new favourite phrase is making rhymes of “roll in the hay” with “gay” – it’s simply magical!

Back to my conversation, we were talking about the first time I met her sister, and in three minutes, she concluded I was gay, which brings Drunkie to a frequently asked question, “How come your family doesn’t know you are gay?

For those in the unknown, I am out and proud amongst all my friends except to my family and anyone who is a potential tattle tale that would lead back to my family.

With that said, I am a little closeted case in my family.

Truth to the fact is, I think they know but it somehow morphed into a “don’t ask, don’t tell” thing for me. If a stranger could tell by talking to me for three minutes, I am sure my parents of more than 20 years would have it figured out.

I think they have always known but since I never brought it up, they choose to be pseudo-oblivious.

Case Study 1:

On a family-shopping spree, Mamma has the sudden urge to get some gold dowry bangles for all her kids. She wants a set for each of us (for my sister to wear for her marriage and for our future wives) and to pass down to our future generations.  Then came the question to me, “Do I need to get you one? It doesn’t seem like you need it.”

Quelle Horreur! What does that mean? Does she mean that because I’m still single or because I’m gay. Then again, all the more reason to get it if I am gay. Me and my future “husband to be” would probably be fighting over for it. Mamma should get me two!

Case Study 2:
Mamma is always changing when I am in the room. No, not full frontal (*pukes*) but in bras and panties. Surprisingly she only does it with me and not my brother.

Dad: Oh good god! Why are you changing in front of your son!

Mum: Why not? It’s good for him to look at some lady parts. He’s been looking at too much of the man's junk.

Me: Errr…. What the fuck?

So voila! I think they know I am gay. Maybe it’s time I come out from the opened closet. Not so much hidden anymore, ain’t it?

Maybe the coming National Coming Out day would be perfect. After all, a gay needs a dramatic entrance~

Love you fags and hags out there. Have a good weekend.
Yours Queerly xoxo

People Like Us - Gay blogs you need to follow

Happy Monday, my loves! Though I am sure, like me, you would rather do anything or anyone else to care about work. Hence, I am writing on my blog instead of the ten stories that I have to finish up by Wednesday. I know, FML.

On a depressing Monday like this, what better things to do than to go through your blog feeds and look for new posts by your favorite bloggers?

Here is a few of my favorite gay reads:

1. The Single Life of a Manhattan Homo - To me, this is the father of all gay blogs: a successful gay writer, Mark Brennan Rosenberg, with his most interesting and exciting life and in my city of dreams nonetheless, NEW YORK!
2. Bedtime Stories - Adventures of a gay doctor. A fantastic writer and one of the few like Mark (Manhattan Homo) who writes stories in their blogs, rather than random posts with a million grammatical errors and nonsensical sentence structures.
3. Fable Frog - I find it quite the interesting read. Even though I have only read the most recent post on his dream of gang raping - oh how dirty and fabulous!
4. Ranting of the Boy (Park in Reverse) - Again, I have only screened through a few post but I am loving this gaysian in Melbourne (my former home), like the latest post on gay relationships!
5. Strictly Gay - This blog is the gay lifestyle and culture blog to follow. Who better to go for when you need reviews on food, culture and lifestyle, than to go to a gay. From facial care, gadgets, food to film, you have it all in a gay POI - which is what we, the Gays need in Malaysia. A gay lifestyle guide.

So there you have it. Some of my regular haunts now (the links are not put in any form ranking, I love them all). I have more in my arsenal but I have only bookmarked them for now and don't have time to read through them yet. I will post them up when the time comes.

A special mention to Manhattan Homo because I love him so much that I practically dive into the archives and read every single post available. It took me a few days to read but it was all worth it.

And now my stalking continues on to Bedtime Stories, I have read up till April 2005 and I have eight more years to go!

I am such a proud stalker, but I blame it on my obsessive nature in reading nurtured by my sister.

Oh! On the side note, don't you think Kelly Clarkson's new song, "People Like Us" is actually meant for people like us. The homos and co. The LGBTIs!

Anyway, enjoy the suggested reads and I will go back to Bedtime Stories for another hour before slaving myself at work.

Love you fags and hags out there. Have a good weekend.
Yours Queerly xoxo