Mamma Knows Best: Things that proves your parents know you're gay

Had a very interesting conversation with my fag hag #1, Drunkzilla. (Drunkzilla and I met in college and we’ve been best of gays and hags ever since.)

I had just finished work and went down to Whisk (Empire Subang Jaya) to meet her for a much-needed catch up session (we haven’t met for five days!). While I was slaving myself with work and desperately looking for some on Grindr, Drunkzilla got plenty of roll in the hay than this gay.

Yeah, my new favourite phrase is making rhymes of “roll in the hay” with “gay” – it’s simply magical!

Back to my conversation, we were talking about the first time I met her sister, and in three minutes, she concluded I was gay, which brings Drunkie to a frequently asked question, “How come your family doesn’t know you are gay?

For those in the unknown, I am out and proud amongst all my friends except to my family and anyone who is a potential tattle tale that would lead back to my family.

With that said, I am a little closeted case in my family.

Truth to the fact is, I think they know but it somehow morphed into a “don’t ask, don’t tell” thing for me. If a stranger could tell by talking to me for three minutes, I am sure my parents of more than 20 years would have it figured out.

I think they have always known but since I never brought it up, they choose to be pseudo-oblivious.

Case Study 1:

On a family-shopping spree, Mamma has the sudden urge to get some gold dowry bangles for all her kids. She wants a set for each of us (for my sister to wear for her marriage and for our future wives) and to pass down to our future generations.  Then came the question to me, “Do I need to get you one? It doesn’t seem like you need it.”

Quelle Horreur! What does that mean? Does she mean that because I’m still single or because I’m gay. Then again, all the more reason to get it if I am gay. Me and my future “husband to be” would probably be fighting over for it. Mamma should get me two!

Case Study 2:
Mamma is always changing when I am in the room. No, not full frontal (*pukes*) but in bras and panties. Surprisingly she only does it with me and not my brother.

Dad: Oh good god! Why are you changing in front of your son!

Mum: Why not? It’s good for him to look at some lady parts. He’s been looking at too much of the man's junk.

Me: Errr…. What the fuck?

So voila! I think they know I am gay. Maybe it’s time I come out from the opened closet. Not so much hidden anymore, ain’t it?

Maybe the coming National Coming Out day would be perfect. After all, a gay needs a dramatic entrance~

Love you fags and hags out there. Have a good weekend.
Yours Queerly xoxo